Become More Successful! Happier! Healthier! Find the Perfect Partner!
The personal growth/spiritual path is filled with seductive promises of a better life. And while I’m all for more authenticity, contentment, passion, peace or purpose – whatever your heart desires, I’m also a big believer in the truth.
The truth is that anytime you embark on fulfilling a heart’s desire – whether you frame it as desiring a different emotional quality in your daily life (more juicy connection please) or you want a job that’s more in alignment with your passions for example – then you are inviting some “this sucks!” into your life.
Here’s why: a vision of a new way of being/living/working means that your current, safe, comfortable, known way of life has got to shift in some way. You might have to find your voice and speak up to get that new job. You might end up letting go of dear friends – and the security, comfort and community they provide – in order to move to that dream house.
I can’t tell you how many times a friend or client has called me overjoyed at their decision to make a big move in their life – move cross country, change – or quit their job, start a new creative endeavor – only to call in tears after it happens. “What was I thinking?” they wail. The contrast is striking.
A whole heap of “what’s wrong with me?” is likely to rear its head. You’ll wonder why you ever wanted to make the move or take the job in the first place. You’ll feel lonely, lost, confused, drained.
THIS IS NORMAL PEOPLE!
Please, please don’t let this stop you.
Think of it this way. You just took an enormous spotlight and pointed it into the dark, murky recesses of your inner world – your mind, beliefs, and emotions. Your leap of faith flushed all the little, small scared parts of you out into the open. This is a wonderful opportunity to practice loving all of you. Accepting all of you.
Healing happens when we no longer ignore the parts of ourselves that are fearful or doubt-filled. These old ways of thinking, speaking and acting are ready and willing to be transformed when they make an appearance in your life. Rejoice! (Really.)
Any time you want “more” or “different” or “better” – then you are also challenging yourself to confront your inner beliefs about who you are and what you are capable of. Congratulations! Growth is happening and more happiness will soon follow.
Those in-the-middle tears aren’t because you’ve made the wrong decision, but rather because any leap of faith involves growth. And just like the growing pains children often experience in their legs as they get bigger, we go through growing pains whenever we challenge our identity and envision a bigger or different self.
I know. I’ve put myself through this cycle numerous times. Thankfully I always had a mentor (or two) and a friend (or three) that helped me see what was really happening and reminded me who I really am, what I am really capable of, and how this was a perfect manifestation of my heart’s desire. Upon hearing this in the middle of my anguish, I wanted to rip their heads off – but ultimately thank you and you and you for holding the space for me to become who I am today.
So go for it. Dare to dream of playing bigger and going for you’re heart’s desire. Let all the gremlins show their heads. Love yourself anyway. You are in the process of becoming more whole. And yes, you are well on your way to becoming more successful! happier! or healthier! You life will get better… it might just suck for a bit on the way – and that’s okay. You are not alone.
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