How to Create Sacred Silent Time for Yourself – and Your Sanity

As a working mama, I absolutely adore time to myself. Particularly quiet time to myself. And while meditating feels delicious – it’s like pushing the reset button for me, I often didn’t make time to do it…. until life became so intense that I had no choice.

During my year of a leap-of-faith-move, then finding out I was pregnant with our second child, my father passing on the day our daughter was born, massive financial changes, and a host of other upheavals, I realized the only way I could stay sane was to start deeply nurturing and taking care of myself.

I had every reason not to take care of myself with all that was going on, and yet sitting my behind down in a chair became as necessary as breathing. When I became still, I gave myself space to feel all that was happening, connect to a force larger than myself, and invite in solutions to my challenges that went beyond what my mind had to say. In other words, I dropped into my heart.

Sitting with myself as a vulnerable, cracking human, unearthing what was most important to me in my heart of hearts and tapping into source was not easy. It’s totally uncomfortable to feel scared, overwhelmed, heartbroken, angry and lost. And I felt all of those.

Learning to hold myself tenderly and gently and remembering that I am more than my problems, emotions, or thoughts diverted my attention from my old way of forcing and pushing life to happen on my terms. I began investing trust in myself as presence, in Life, in the belief that “all is well and I will be taken care of.”

Here’s what made meditating a million times easier for me:

1. Have a realistic expectation.

I try to get quiet for 15 minutes, 5 times a week – and if I don’t, I forgive myself. I use the free app “Insight Timer” which has a lovely start and stop chime that helps transport my attention inward. Some people try to meditate at the same time every day – with little ones, husband, house and work, I meditate when I can.

2. Breathe – normally.

Spending a minute or so paying attention to my breath helps me slow down and feel grounded. I don’t try to breathe deeper or change my breath in any way. I become the curious observer, noticing how shallow or deep I’m breathing. And voila, within a few moments I’m usually sighing and my breath slows on its own.

3. Create a sacred space for yourself.

Lighting a candle sets the mood for me, as does retreating to my Healing Space sans kids or husband. Your spot doesn’t have to be fancy – it can be a comfy chair in a corner of your room. Once I close my eyes, and start paying attention to my breath, I create a sacred internal space by imaging a sacred circle being drawn around me in nature. The circle might be water, fire, a beautiful color or simple a line drawn in the earth. All my everyday concerns and the characters in my life step outside the circle, and me, myself and I inhabit inside the circle. Just feeling everyone step back creates relief.

4. Envision a ceremony.

Take a minute to honor the four directions. Imagine your feet rooted into the ground. Picture sunlight pouring into the top of your head. Find a way to become more present within. For years I poo-poo’d meditation that was anything other than observing my thoughts and letting them go, or releasing emotion. Yet once I gave myself permission to go on shamanic journeys during my meditation time, my mind became helpfully engaged, I surrendered even deeper, and I found delightful solutions to pressing problems.

5. Invite in your guides.

I’ve gotten over my aversion to woo-woo and regularly invite in my guides. This can be a power animal, angel, spirit, goddess, person who has passed, an older wiser self – any image that feels safe, protective and wise. Guides can be given any number of tasks – help reveal your heart’s desire (what you really want), track the root situation of old beliefs and wounds, bring clarity to a question or problem, take you on an intergalactic adventure. Play with your guides – they might surprise you.

Now have at it – and when you are finished, make sure you thank yourself, your guides, and all your peeps for giving you the time to focus on yourself.

As women, we often nurture others before we take the time to nurture ourselves. Yet the only sustainable (and sane) way to keep giving is by deeply caring for ourselves. Carving out time to sit in silence and connect to yourself beyond the roles you play in life and instead connect to yourself as intuition, as Life Force, as part of nature will help relax, refill and rejuvenate yourself. Your body, mind, and spirit – as well as your loved ones, friends, and co-workers will all thank you too.

Ahhhh….

Do you meditate regularly? What does it do for you? What meditation tips do you have? Comment below!