Now Serving Chocolate Chips, Blueberries, and Number…

Like so many of us, I deeply want to be of service. It’s a theme that’s run through my adult life whether it’s been teaching inner-city children or offering shamanic healing and life coaching.

Over the last few months I’ve been ruminating over who my ideal client is. According to internet mavens like Suzanne Evans and Marie Forleo, I need to drill down my audience to a specific niche. The better I can define who I serve and what my message is, the more successful I’ll be and the better I can be of service.

After all, if you want to help women have better romantic relationships, you’d have a completely different language and focus for a 25 year old than for a 54 year old.

Got it.

So I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with the perfect solution. Light workers? Spiritual moms in heart based businesses? Women 38-55 who are ready to release childhood wounds so they can shine in their relationships, business and spirituality?

I wake myself up in the middle of the night dreaming (okay, stressing) over this. I drive Shaman Guy to the edge with quite a few tears of frustration (from my eyes, although he might have been close himself.)

Why haven’t I figured this out yet? How am I going to figure it out in the midst of an already full life? Where are the clients?

My “not enough” demon kicks in. You should be making more money by now. You should have more programs and offerings by now.

Ankhhhh!!

Then I take a walk with my dear, intuitive friend Tobi. As I’m pouring out my frustrations, she gets very still and says, “Maybe you’re narrowing this down too far. What if you just asked, ‘Who can I help today?’ That’s what I do and I see who shows up.”

I stop. I feel her point. And spin the other direction. What if I just let go and swam in the flow of life? Trusted life to bring me the perfect clients? Maybe Tobi’s right. If I stopped trying to figure it out, I could be more present in my everyday life. I would certainly be less of a stress case.

For the next few days, I swing wildly from one end of the pendulum to the other. I need to find my niche. No, I need to be open to who I encounter today.

As I’m engraving a permanent worry line in my forehead chewing this over, I walk into our kitchen. The post-it on our counter reads, “Chocolate chips. Blueberries.” I moan in frustration. I’ve just been to the grocery store and my uber-efficient self abhors going to the grocery store more than one big shop and one quickie shop a week. Since I’ve been planning a bang-em-up 6th birthday party for Shaman Boy, we’ve way exceeded my quota. And now Shaman Guy needs chocolate chips & blueberries? Couldn’t he have left this note 20 minutes ago?

Then the swinging stops. A gear clicks. I’m so busy in the head thinking about who I might serve online or in my business, that I can’t see who I do serve.

A typical today: I help Shaman Boy get ready for school, while encouraging the 243 different ideas that spout out of his head and giving him pointers on how to deal with his buddies at school. I prepare a delicious lunch and dinner for Shaman Guy while offering him a reflection on his business. I make pit stops on my errand loop. I take Shaman Boy to visit our nanny in the hospital, which buoys her spirit. I talk to my dad who has just been released from the hospital. I deliver a meaningful, helpful teleclass to 4 participants in my ecourse. I check in on a few clients and friends via text and email. I read and meditate, restoring myself.

I’ve been blind.

I serve many people each day. My service is to myself, my family, my circle of clients. It just doesn’t look like the picture I have in my head that’s populated with thousands of people and Facebook fans and opportunities. And that’s what’s been causing my angst.

There is still a part of me that doesn’t value taking care of our home and family as much as I value a successful career. I’ve been thinking life will always be this way, when in a precious few months Shaman Boy will be in school full-time.

It’s time to stop the madness.

I value dreaming big. I value clarity. I value sharing my inner gifts with passion and purpose. Yet I also value inner peace, and seeing what is, and faith. It’s a balance between being specific and being open, being strategic and savvy and showing up in the moment.

It’s not a race to see how many people I can serve or how big and wide my message is. It’s not about serving number 52 or 5,255. I’m here to serve – whether it’s chocolate chips and blueberries or insightful wisdom that transforms lives to an anonymous new acquaintance online. I’m here to serve you.

Universe, use me. Guide me. Show me the way.

And you? Who do you serve? Comment below please.

I just created a free shamanic journey and meditation that guides you a resolve a challenge in your relationships, business, health, or spirituality. It’s deeply relaxing and powerful too. Enjoy! And let me know the results.